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ID:	1453
Title:	Mothers In Medicine
URL:	http://www.mothersinmedicine.com/
Category:	Health: Medicine
Description:	A group blog by physician-mothers, writing about the unique challenges and joys of tending to two distinct patient populations, both of whom can be quite demanding.

MiM Mailbag: Living with the in-laws? - Thu, 17 May 2012 10:00:00 +0000

I will be starting my pediatric internship year soon, after 6 months out of clinical practice (I took some time off between my 3rd and 4th years to spend time with my newborn and graduated a few months after my classmates). I have a fiance, a dog, and a 21 month old daughter. We are so very undecided about our future living situation. My soon to be in-laws have a house approximately 30 minutes, with traffic, away from the hospital. Since we can't afford to buy a house at the moment, we are considering the following options, one of which I am uncomfortable sharing with others who know me, for fear of judgment. One option is that we all live with the in-laws. I think I would go crazy with this option as the in-laws are a loud, lively couple very much ingrained in their ways. The other option is to rent somewhere between the in-laws and the hospital so that my mother-in-law (unemployed) can help out, either by driving to us or us dropping off our daughter with her. The last option, and the one we are strongly considering, is that I rent a small place near the hospital and my fiance, daughter and dog reside with his parents.

I'd greatly, greatly appreciate your opinions and own experiences with the issue. We need more spaces like mothers in medicine!

Sincerely,

Parenting in medicine mentoring panel - Tue, 15 May 2012 09:54:00 +0000

I just attended the annual Society of General Internal Medicine conference - a conference that always inspires me. You can tell the values of an organization from its meeting. SGIM is understated (no commercial sponsors or huge pharma-dripping exhibit hall) and the work presented is largely focused on health disparities, improving the health of our society, and education. The opening plenary session was titled "Does the Moral Arc of the Universe Really Bend Towards Justice?" (The answer was a heartening yes.)

One of the sessions I attended was a Parenting in Medicine Mentoring Panel, a wonderful idea with an unfortunate acronym. Nancy Rigotti, who directs the Office of Women's Careers at Harvard and a past President of SGIM, led the panel. Mothers in medicine of various stages of their academic career shared their stories, much like we do here. There was also time for questions in the packed room of mostly women and a handful of men (including one division head who spoke about his support for work-life balance in his department by budgeting maternity leaves and family leaves, into his yearly FTE equation, and contracting with emergency child care services- awesome.)

Some key points that were made by panelists and the audience:

Being a physician makes you a better mother. That quality of beingcalm under pressure comes in mighty handy when you’re faced with a teenager whoannounces, “I didn’t go to school today.”
Make your partner a partner. Many women echoed this. Some split the weekdays in terms of who was responsible for making dinner for the evening
Get help to do things you don’t want to do to spend thattime with your kids. If you can afford housecleaning help, it is worth it.
If you find yourself working in an unsupportive environment, find a peer group who all have kids to help cover each other when needed.
Take risks - in your career path, in life
There is no one way to do it. We each find ways to make it work with our families and choices.
Don't delay having your family. Unintentional childlessness or having fewer children than desired happens to mothers in medicine.
On-site childcare can be a godsend.
Make family dinners a priority.
Share our stories, form communities of support. (See: MiM byline)

Finally, this thought was shared:Kids are a gift, not an achievement. In all of these ridiculous Mommy Wars and trying to decide who is doing it better, why not just focus on the gift?

Run Like a Mother - Mon, 14 May 2012 00:22:00 +0000

A couple weeks ago, as I was reading the Sunday paper (yes, how 1989of me), I saw an ad for a Mother's Day 5 K called "Run Like a Mother." A Race for 'women only' to celebrate health and motherhood, on Mother'sDay. This seemed like an awesome idea, so I called up my runningbuddies and we made it a date.

The race was happening in abeautiful horse farm that has been converted to a park. What a greatway to spend Mother's Day morning, we thought.

Last night as we began to check the weather though, we got a little concerned. The forecast called for heavy rains.

Whatever. A little rain wasn't going to slow us down. I've run many races in therain, as long as you avoid the big puddles, it's really not a big deal.

AsI pulled into the park this morning, I began to have my doubts. As wegathered at the staring line, a downpour began. Next I realized thatwe weren't running on pavement, we were running through the field.

A boggy field. Wet slippery grass. Mud. Awesome.

My shoes were sloshing, my socks soaked to the core as I rounded the first turn. At times, I was running in 6 inches of water.

This was not what I had signed up for.

Asme, my friends and 200 other crazy moms continued the race, we foundour stride. The scenery was beautiful even in the rain. Faithful dadsand tots stood with their umbrellas, cheering us on at the halfway mark.

It was definitely a unique experience: how often do I run through a horse field in a downpour?
As I rounded the final stretch with the finish line in sight, I realized that even in my cold, soggy state I was having a blast.

Thisrace to celebrate Mother's Day turned in to a perfect analogy formotherhood itself: it's messy, much harder than I thought I'd be, butexhilarating and totally worth it in the end.

What was the best part of your Mother's Day?

crossposted at thepregnancycompanion.com